Divorce is hardly an exception anymore. In fact, with the rate of marriage steadily-dipping over the past decade, and the divorce rate holding steady, you are likely to know more previously married couples than those who are legally bound. Accompanying this trend are multiple studies analyzing the effects that divorce has on children. And the results aren't good, even if the stigma of divorce has faded. Here, are some negative effects divorce reportedly has on children:
Smoking habits
In a study published in the March 2013 edition of Public Health, researchers at the University of Toronto found that both sons and daughters of divorced families are significantly more likely to begin smoking than peers whose parents are married. In an analysis of 19,000 Americans, men whose parents divorced before they turned 18 had 48 percent higher odds of smoking than men with intact families. Women had 39 percent higher odds of picking up the habit. Lead author Esme Fuller-Thomson called the link "very disturbing."
Ritalin use
Dr. Strohschein, a sociologist at the University of Alberta, wanted to know what was behind the increase in children prescriptions for Ritalin over the past two decades. And so, in 2007, she analyzed data from a survey that was conducted between 1994 and 2000. In it, 5,000 children who did not use Ritalin, and were living in two-parent households, were interviewed. Over the six years, 13.2 percent of those kids experienced divorce. Of those children, 6.6 percent used Ritalin. Of the children living in intact households, 3.3 percent used Ritalin. Strohschein suggests that stress from the divorce could have altered the children's mental health, and caused a dependence on Ritalin.
Editor’s Note: (Ritalin (methylphenidate) is a central nervous system stimulant. It affects chemicals in the brain and nerves that contribute to hyperactivity and impulse control. Ritalin is used to treat attention deficit disorder (ADD) and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). It is also used in the treatment of a sleep disorder called narcolepsy (an uncontrollable desire to sleep). When given for attention deficit disorders, Ritalin should be an integral part of a total treatment program that may include counseling or other therapies. Methylphenidate is approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for the treatment of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.[14] The addition of behavioural modification therapy (e.g. cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)) has additional benefits on treatment outcome. People with ADHD have an increased risk of substance abuse, and stimulant medications reduce this risk).
Poor math and social skills
A 2011 study by the University of Wisconsin-Madison found that children of divorced parents often fall behind their classmates in math and social skills, and are more likely to suffer anxiety, stress, and low self-esteem. The reason that math skills are affected is likely because learning math is cumulative. "If I do not understand that one plus one is two," lead researcher Hyun Sik Kim says, "then I cannot understand multiplication." Kim says it is unlikely that children of divorcees will be able to catch up with their peers who live in more stable families.
Susceptibility to sickness
In 1990, Jane Mauldon of the University of California at Berkeley found that children of divorcees run a 35 percent risk of developing health problems, compared with a 26 percent risk among all children. Mauldon suggests their susceptibility to illness is likely due to "very significant stress" as their lives change dramatically. Divorce can also reduce the availability of health insurance, and may lead to a loss of certain factors that contribute to good health, including constant adult supervision and a safe environment. The risk of health problems is higher than average during the first four years after a family separation, but, curiously, can actually increase in the years following.
An increased likelihood of dropping out of school
A 2010 study found that more than 78 percent of children in two-parent households graduated from high school by the age of 20. However, only 60 percent of those who went through a big family change — including divorce, death, or remarriage — graduated in the same amount of time. The younger a child is during the divorce, the more he or she may be affected. Also, the more change children are forced to go through, like a divorce followed by a remarriage, the more difficulty they may have finishing school.
A propensity for crime
In 2009, the law firm Mishcon de Reya polled 2,000 people who had experienced divorce as a child in the preceding 20 years. And the results did not paint a positive picture of their experiences. The subjects reported witnessing aggression (42 percent), were forced to comfort an upset parent (49 percent), and had to lie for one or the other (24 percent). The outcome was one in 10 turned to crime, and 8 percent considered suicide.
Higher risk of stroke
In 2010, researchers from the University of Toronto found a strong link between divorce and adult risk of stroke. However, the vast majority of adults whose parents divorced did not have strokes. "Let's make sure we don't have mass panic," said lead researcher Esme Fuller-Thompson. "We don't know divorce causes stroke, we just know this association exists." She says the relationship could be due to exposure to stress, which can change a child's physiology. She also noted that the time at which these children experienced divorce was in the 1950s, when it wasn't as socially accepted as it is today.
Greater chance of getting divorced
University of Utah research Nicholas H. Wolfinger in 2005 released a study showing that children of divorcees are more likely to divorce as adults. Despite aspiring to stable relationships, children of divorcees are more likely to marry as teens, as well as marry someone who also comes from a divorced family. Wolfinger's research suggests that couples in which one spouse has divorced parents may be up to twice as likely to divorce. If both partners experienced divorce as children they are three times more likely to divorce themselves. Wolfinger said one of the reasons is that children from unstable families are more likely to marry young.
An early death
And rounding out the dreary research is an eight-decade study and book called The Longevity Project by Howard Friedman and Leslie Martin. Starting in 1921, researchers tracked some 1,500 boys and girls throughout their lives. More than one-third of the participants experienced either parental divorce or the death of a parent before the age of 21. But it was only the children of divorced families who died on average almost five years earlier than children whose parents did not divorce. The deaths were from causes both natural and unnatural, but men were more likely to die of accidents or violence. Generally, divorce lowered the standard of living for the children, which made a particular difference in the longevity of women.
Ways to Reject a Guy’s Proposal Politely
LET’S GO FOR A COFFEE
This can be a descent way of refusing a proposal. Well, how? First of all do not try to exaggerate things. Most often girls tend to do this, thinking that it might help but no it doesn’t. Instead it complicates the entire situation putting you in a bigger fix. So just be plain and simple. You don’t have to be rude at the very first time. Never try to over explain. Once you do this, the guy might have a feeling that you are interested in him, but still trying to make excuses just because you are feeling hesitant to say a ‘yes’. All you need to do is go for a coffee, have a nice talk and clear out everything. As simple as that.
I
WOULD RATHER LIKE YOU TO BE MY BROTHER
Well, this might sound funny but this is a
very easy way to escape the situation. You tell him that talking to him gives
you a brotherly kind of feeling and you never know he might stop liking you in
that way ,thinking that there is no use of going ahead, because no matter how
good he becomes he will always remain a brother to you. And if not then he is
left with no other option other than accepting your proposal. Such tricks have worked for numerous girls and
might work in your case as well.
I
AM A HIV POSITIVE!!
In such a situation you have to be somewhat
like this, “Well, I haven’t told this to anyone. But I guess I should tell you
this because it is important for you to know. I am an HIV+. After listening to
this there might be two situations. First he either might leave you
straightaway or he might feel bad for you and still wants to be with you. Then
you have to tell him that you don’t want him to be with you just for your
happiness and you have already accepted this bitter truth of your life. Few tears
would make the situation look even more realistic. Well that’s not a tough job
for girls but still in case you are doubtful, you can add two drops of glycerin
and the tears will begin to cascade down in torrents.
I
AM A LESBIAN
Quite absurd, but one of the best ways to say
a ‘No’. This idea might not have crossed your mind but all you need to do is be
very realistic in your words making the guy feel that. “Yes, you are actually a
lesbian”. Guys don’t turn me on. I am more attracted towards girls. That’s all
you need to say. He’ll be stunned, shocked and in no time will disappear. There
is no chance of him being sad as well. Instead he will be grateful to you for
letting him know this and if he is an innocent fellow, he might sympathize with
your situation as well!!
I
AM SUFFERING FROM A SERIOUS PSYCHOLOGICAL DISORDER
Schizophrenia, split personality disorder,
autism or any god damn psychological problem that you have ever heard or read
about. Well let me tell you this is the best time to bring it in use. Make it
sound as abnormal as you can. In short make him believe that you are ‘mad’ and
also undergoing treatment so being with you can be really dangerous. Tell him
you have a serious personality disorder like you cannot distinguish between the
real and the unreal and hence you are a schizophrenic. Also sometimes your mind
goes out of control and you feel like killing someone or even harm yourself.
Obviously a guy would not be foolish enough to still be with you and in case he
is then let me tell you, it is he who has some psychological disorder so you
better run away.
I
NEED TO FOCUS ON MY CAREER
My family conditions are not good and I
seriously need to focus on my career. You are really a nice guy but my
priorities in life are different. My career is my prime concern so I won’t be
able to give you that much importance. I hope you are getting me. If someday I
feel like getting into a relationship, you will be the first guy whom I would
consider. Little bit of polishing and the work is done. The guy might prefer to
be in the waiting list and wait for his ticket to get confirm or he might book
a ticket somewhere else and get a confirm berth! And in case if he understands
what you actually mean, then he’ll most probably go for the second option.
YOU
ARE TOO GOOD FOR ME
Flattery is an art. Make the guy feel that he
is so good that you don’t think that you match up to his level. Everyone likes
to be praised, no matter whether he is worth it or not! But please make sure
that it doesn’t sound fake. Once you do this you’ll end up ruining the whole
plan. Do it in such a way that he feels good about himself and hence should
‘hunt’ for something better. Tell him all you deserve is an ordinary guy, not
someone extraordinary like him. This way you can make him happy as well as be
happy.
MY
FRIEND LIKES YOU
What else can be better than
this? A little evil but will surely make him happy even if you reject him
because he’ll have another option in hand. And tell him that if you say a ‘yes’
to him then it would break your friend’s heart and hurt her feelings and that
would be really unfair on your part. You can never do this to your friend. Can
you? The next question that would come up to you is, ‘Who is she?’ Don’t worry
you can still manage the situation saying that you cannot disclose her name
because it is a ‘big’ secret. Also you don’t want to betray your friendship and
when the right time comes he’ll get to know who she is.
I ALREADY HAVE A BOYFRIEND”…..BUT WE CAN BE
GOOD FRIENDS
MY
PAST STILL KEEPS ON HAUNTING ME
I really had a bad break up recently and I
haven’t been able to overcome it yet. So please I am not ready for any
relationship kind of thing. I hope you understand what I am going through. I
need to spend some time with myself. The guy (if sensible) will most probably
understand your condition. Make him feel that you have certain trust issues and
you cannot blindly trust anyone. All’s well that ends well. So what matters in
the end is that you made a ‘polite’ rejection to somebody and made your way out
easily.Though there is no perfect way of saying a ‘no’ in a polite manner. Rejection always hurts. But the intensity of being hurt varies. May be a simple straight ‘No’ with a “smile” is all you need to be nice, firm and direct in a straight way or you can manipulate the person in such a way that he might be willing to leave you. Now it’s up to you to decide which way suits you better!! But no matter which excuse you choose, NEVER tell someone from your village that you are a lesbian, mentally unstable or HIV+ when you are not – or the whole village might just avoid you!
No comments:
Post a Comment